From GuildWiki

Warning: Matrim is about to enter a rant about idiots. Be aware that ranting about idiots will likely take an excessive amount of time and likely will waste your time in the end.

Contents 1 Joke Time! 2 About 3 Account 4 Characters 4.1 Evelyn Tian Spike 4.2 Domina Caedes 4.3 Matrim Cauthon 4.4 Checking My Laundry 5 Userboxes

[edit] Joke Time!

Two aliens come to Earth. Upon landing they see a closed gas station, no people are around so they assume that the gas pumps are the primary form of life on Earth. One of the aliens, we'll call him Smith, goes up to one of the pumps and says, "Greetings, take me to your leader." The gas pump, in regular gas-pump fashion does not respond. Smith, thinking the gas pump didn't hear him says again "Take me to your leader." Still nothing. Smith is starting to get angry you see, and with a tone of aggravation says. "TAKE me to your leader." The gas pump stays stoically quiet, and Smith starts shaking with rage, the other alien, lets call him Herbert, says to Smith, "I don't think this is a good idea." Smith ignores Herbert and says, quite angrily "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!" The gas pump remains silent. Herbert, seeing Smith pull out his weapon, says "I REALLY don't think thats a good idea." Smith ignores him again, and screams "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!!!" and upon not receiving an answer from the gas pump, proceeds to fire his weapon at it. The resulting explosion flings the aliens a couple hundred yards away and knocks them unconscious. When the aliens wake up Smith says to Herbert "How did you know not to shoot it?" and Herbert sagely replies "Its a basic principle. You don't fuck with people who can take their dick, wrap it around themselves twice and stick it in their ear."

also amusing: [1]

[edit] About

I'm more than likely permanently retired, and as such won't be editing on GuildWiki any longer. My account was compromised which resulted in a significant loss of assets on my part, so I'm done.
I'm Matrim (or Freaking, or Mat, or Evelyn), yes I based my name off the Wheel of Time character that I am in love with.
I started playing Guild Wars sometime in 2005 on my brother's account but stayed mainly with other MMOs
Now I am completely addicted (see Account below) and have made attempts to switch to other games (all of which failed).
Check this out for random junk

[edit] Account Active Since: September 2006 (Made during Factions preview event April 2006) Guild: Legends of the New Republic [LnR]. Alliance: The Sounds of Revenge [GAME] Faction: Kurzick Hero Title Track: 75 (Rank 2) "Fierce Hero" Champion Title Track: 0 Gladiator Title Track: 32 Commander Title Track: 125 (Rank 1) "Commander" Kurzick Title Track: 2,560,000 (Rank 8) "Warden of the Kurzicks" Luxon Title Track: 0 Lucky Title Track: 250,002 (Rank 3) "Favored" Unlucky Title Track: 20,110 (Rank 2) "Unlucky" Total Hours Played: 2100+ (87+ days)

[edit] Characters

These templates came from: Aberrant80

[edit] Evelyn Tian Spike "Idiot meet my sword. Sword, meet idiot." Canthan Level 20 Weh no Su Next: Guardian of Elona Character A homeless orphan, adopted by Granddad, a hobo who cared for street urchins in Kaieng City Follows Grenth with fervor, and Balthazar out of necessity Quick, agile and quiet, a devious tactician with no love for rules. Titles People Know Me (2) Canthan Grandmaster Cartographer (100%) Elonian Grandmaster Cartographer (100%) Protector of Cantha (1) Protector of Elona (1) Protector of Tyria (1) Guardian of Cantha (1) Canthan Elite Skill Hunter (1) Elonian Elite Skill Hunter (1) Tyrian Elite Skill Hunter (1) Legendary Skill Hunter (1) Legendary Spearmarshal (10) Holy Lightbringer (8) Not Too Shabby (10) Adventurous Delver (7) Slayer of Wurms (5) Mysterious Agent (4) Veteran of the North (3) Advanced Treasure Hunter (3) Collector of Wisdom (2) Aspirations Legendary Cartographer Legendary Guardian Notes Many thanks to TC Fish for his maps, they saved me many times. This wasn't my first character, but was the first out of my current set. My "Main" Character, with over 1000 hours of play time and over 4,900+ deaths (=P) over 23 months. See Her Misc Page for more

[edit] Domina Caedes "You, my friend, are annoying me. Heal yourself." Level 20 Tyrian Next:Ascension Character Daughter of a rich merchant. Is bold, loud, and intelligent. Follower of Dwayna. Titles Lucky Unlucky Aspirations 15k Kurzick Armor Notes Her name (is in Latin) roughly translates to: Miss Murder (yes like the A.F.I. song)

[edit] Matrim Cauthon "Dovie'andi se tovya sagain." Its time to toss the dice Level 20 Canthan Weh no Su Next: Finishing Factions and Nightfall Character Son of a member of the Celestial Ministry. Uncannily intelligent, aloof, and critical. Considered fun to hang out with Lucky, like reaaaally lucky Devoted Follower of Grenth and Lyssa In an intense love affair with Headmaster Lee Titles Defender of the Kurzicks (7) Lucky (2) Unlucky (2) Aspirations Savior of the Kurzicks Notes Third most used character with 160+ hours of play time and 3000+ deaths over 10 months. Name based on Wheel of Time character Matrim Cauthon (yes I did snag the name. Booya!)

[edit] Checking My Laundry "Hey sweet! Another dead guy, did I do that? Hey pet, go fetch!" Elonian Level 20 Hunted! Next:EotN Character Follows Lyssa and Grenth with fervor, and Melandru out of necessity. Her real name is Alyssa Santone. Shes the daughter of a corsair captain. Titles Sunspear General (7) Mighty Lightbringer (4) Delver (1) Slayer of Imps (1) Covert Agent (2) Defender of the Kurzicks (7) Lucky (2) Unlucky (2) Aspirations Norn Armor Slayer of Wurms (5) Notes Was named after a conversation one of my HA groups had. Has a pet Dire Raven named Ahura Mazda Fourth most played character with 98+ hours of play time and 600+ deaths over 9 months.

[edit] Userboxes

en-N This user is able to contribute with a native level of English.	la-3 This user is able to contribute with a advanced level of Latin.	This user plays for the territory of North America.	\o/ This user wished to make a little man.
PvE This user is primarily a PvE player.	This user is a member of the Kurzick alliance.	This user uses Firefox	This user enjoys most varieties of metal.
♀ This user plays female characters only, as he dislikes spending hours looking at male buttocks.	This user is a member of the Livia Fanclub. Who doesn't like a woman in latex?	ANet-Y This user favors ANet and believes they are much better than some game companies. *cough* Jagex *cough*.	Buffalo This user also found this article ROFL worthy.
Glowing Signet is Matrim's favorite skill.	Soldier's Stance is Matrim's favorite skill.	This user has spent 2074 hours in Guild Wars in 28 months (2.4 h/day).	FanFic This user is a vehement reader of FanFiction.