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The Troll

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Disambiguous This article is about the Trolls found anywhere on the Internet. For the Guild Wars in-game creature, see Troll.
Bridge Troll

A Typical Troll

Trolls are large humanoid shaped creatures that are found on the Internet. Trolls are known for their herding nature: where there is one there will soon be more. They can be found almost anywhere, but prefer crowded places.

Unlike Mythical Trolls, the Trolls in Guild Wars do not shun the sun and are not turned to stone by the sunlight. In fact, they love the spotlight and will do anything for attention, including cannibalism of other trolls and cloning themselves so they can troll their previous self. Do not be confused, these Trolls are highly intelligent, although obsessive.

To encounter the Troll in Guild Wars, visit a port city, such as the Great Temple of Balthazar or Kamadan, Jewel of Istan and ask a question in local chat. Simple questions, such as "What time is it?" are best.

The best way to Identify a troll in any given environment is to look for the person who gives a university-class lecture on how to do something when asked something simple as explained above. This lecture will probably last longer than the activity itself and then go on to other related or unrelated topics and do the same. This usually leads to them spending more time explaining, debating, discussing and opinionating (ranting and raving) than anything else.

The reason why trolls do all this is simply to polish their own marbles. They love to make others feel inferior to them and they despise people who disagree with their views. Brave adventurers will openly try to prove trolls wrong — those who fail are eaten alive, those who win will tell that no victory could possibly be sweeter.

The best way to foil the Troll is to "Play dead", as it were - a strategy that evolution has proven to work in a wide range of situations. "Do not feed the troll" is a commonly used expression to encourage others to "play dead" in the presence of a troll.

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