The Thing That Pwns All is an animal boss that kills by biting the heads off it's enemies and processing them into hamburgers. These hamburgers are no ordinary hamburgers, however, but they contain a poison which is presumed to be some remnant of the Thing That Pwns All's digestive juices. This poison causes swelling of the breast, excessive vomiting, and the feeling of being repeatedly pwned.
It is currently impossible to track the Thing That Pwns All, as it leaves no survivors when it attacks. It has never been found, although there are rumors that it has been seen near Bokka Amphitheatre, Nahpui Quarter, and Thunderhead Keep explorable.